Posted on 12.03.2005 at 14:32
My Penmanship is: ready for change
The Song Stuck in my Head is: GAC
"Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies."
"To fly, we have to have resistance."
This journal has been moved to genuineillusion, which is a friends-locked journal. Anything that doesn't need to be specifically friends-locked will be posted on myspace as well.
Those of you that would like to keep me as a friend, please add me at genuineillusion and comment the entry there. Thanks.
Posted on 11.30.2005 at 18:46
My Penmanship is: sarcastic
The Song Stuck in my Head is: Gilmore Girls
I miss the people that I've lost & that have moved on.
Posted on 11.24.2005 at 21:50
My Penmanship is: content
The Song Stuck in my Head is: The Travel Channel & my uncle snoring
Hey folks, it's another Holiday Season - and here I am, still praying for help. Still praying for strength - but oh so thankfully, it's coming easier to me. I really feel as though I'm bridging the gap between myself and God again. It seems selfish to turn to him, only because he's the only one that can help me - but this time I'm making my very best effort to remain in his good graces, even after my immediate need for him is gone. God will always be a part of my life, I just need to concentrate on that part a little more.
Today my family went around the table and said what they were thankful for. I didn't say what my heart really felt. I was thankful to God for giving me the strength to make it through another day - another season. I was thankful to God for lessening my pain, and for always giving me a reason to believe, even though he doesn't have to. I was thankful to God for carrying me through the valleys that I could not walk myself. But instead of telling my family that, I just echoed what the other children said. "Thanks for the food & the support you give us. May you continue to bless us in the future." I could never tell my family what I was truly thankful for. I think it would hurt them. And that is the last thing I want to do. (And Susan, I would appreciate it if you would keep this little segment to yourself & not tell my mom.)
I am currently addicted to Robitussin. My cough has been thoroughly suppressed nearly the whole time I've been here in California. It's rather enjoyable.
My uncle & I have been playing this really awesome game called "World of Warcraft." I really wish I had the game. It's so nifty. Plus my other uncle plays it too (though the two uncles don't speak.).
Tomorrow we're going to my Great Grandmother's house to see GG (my great-grandma) & my other uncle (he's a raw foodist).
I made pumpkin pie. All by myself. It's really good. Even my mom (who generally HATES pumpkin pie) liked it. The only one (in a house of 7) that didn't like it was Melissa. But whatever. She doesn't have to like it, right? Right. My mom made this really different stuffing & I loved it. Totally stuffed myself of stuffing (and mashed 'tatoes, broccoli, turkey [white meat only!], rolls, & pumpkin bread). Thanksgiving was ab. fab. like no other meal. And, first year in a while that I haven't been either a) violently ill [stomach flu] or b) absolutely disgusted by the choice of foods. So, REALLY good year, all-in-all.
Mom & I have done a bit of bickering since we got here, but that's normal. The only thing out of the realm of normalcy is that, rather than going outside & self-injuring to cope, I ran outside to pray. I was really proud of myself, and in my heart I know that God was too. So, I am now off to dose myself with Robitussin (mmm, mmm good) & go to bed. Let's hope I don't wake myself (& 1/2 the house) bright & early this morning with another coughing fit, huh?
Love & good wishes for a fantastic Thanksgiving to you all.
Posted on 11.20.2005 at 12:41
My Penmanship is: sore
The Song Stuck in my Head is: Nada
So, yesterday my mom, my sisters, and I went up to Las Vegas. My mom went clothes shopping for/with my little sisters & I stayed with my Aunt Heidi & Uncle Eric in their new house, which was really nice. When my Uncle Eric got home at like 2:30 NV time, we ate lunch & he took me for a ride in his Corvette. It was pretty spiffy. Then we got back to the house & I dislocated my kneecap for a second & spent the next several hours laid up on the couch, icing my knee. Ugh. Not fun. It's still nice & stiff today, though not as painful as last time I did it. I'm nearly done with the book Susan, my mom's boss, gave me. It's called "Wicked, the Life & Times of the Wicked Witch of the West." It's pretty good, though I don't think she was aware that the book contained some adult themes, including, but not limited to, adultery, homosexuality, murder, premarital sex, and public acts of sex. The Wicked Witch of the West was a highly misunderstood person. I actually kind of like her. Anyway, I've been flitting around doing nothing all day because I've been highly bored.
I'm feeling horribly for Shyla & Robyn, obviously. My mom & I have been discussing it, and she's come to conclusion that she doesn't know me as well as she thought, or something, because everyone's parents seem to dislike me. I found that statement amusing, because for the most part I tell my mom everything - so there's not a whole lot of people that could claim to know me as well. o.O Umm. but yeah. Now she's read that & won't stop hugging on me... so I'm gonna go, because she has an e-mail she needs to finish.
See you [all] on Monday.
Posted on 11.14.2005 at 15:27
My Penmanship is: blank
The Song Stuck in my Head is: Too Small A Price -Don Francisco
So, sadly enough, I haven't been on here in a while, not even to read my friends list. And, let me tell you what - this thing sure has changed. At first I didn't even realize I was on the update journal page! I think I need to just gradually work my way back into LJ. *sigh*
And maybe work my way out of drama & the depression that Brent's moving has brought upon me?
ETA: Also, I just had my momma read my essay for English. Do you know what she said to me? She said "Did you really write this?"
Nooooooo mom. I stole it off the internet.[/sarcasm] *eyeroll*
Posted on 11.02.2005 at 18:29
My Penmanship is: angry
The Song Stuck in my Head is: My family talking
Sooo, my mom & I are in the kitchen, minding our own business & making my birthday cake when Shirley started my anger gland. Here's how it went down:
mom & me: *laughing & making a cake*
shirley: why are you making a cake?
mom: for ashley's birthday.
s: oh, when is that?
m: tomorrow. [with a *duh* tone of voice*]
s: oh, it is! i always get the 3rd and the 8th confused.
melissa: do you forget our birthdays?
m: of course not. [half sarcastically]
s: i remember katie's because it's right between my sister's
melissa: and you remember mine cuz it's the last day of sept. huh?
mom: [to me] so what do you want for dinner tomorrow. i will make anything you want. or order it.
melissa: can we have pizza?!
s: well, that's probably what she'll want. that's what she usually gets.
me: [angrily] no.
mom: what do you want, sweetheart?
me: [quietly to mom] can we go to the china szechuan? we haven't been there in a while. if that's okay.
m: sure, if you want.
and after that the conversation drifted. RAWR! I freaking HATE that woman.
*chants* only a few more months. only a FEW MORE MONTHS.
Posted on 10.19.2005 at 06:59
My Penmanship is: dorky
The Song Stuck in my Head is: My sister playing Pokemon Snap in the living room
Actually, I don't have anything to say about drag queens. I just liked the way it looked in the subject bar. Sad, I know. So - everyone else has been off leading exciting, or at least interesting, lives & I decided to do the same for once. Brent, Ro, Maren, Mike C., myself & others are trying to start a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance
). We have asked a teacher to be our staff advisor & the administration has already given us the go-ahead. However, until we get a staff advisor & have Student Council okay it - we're petitioning. We're getting a lot of signatures so that when we hand everything over to student council (who can't legally deny our request anyway), we will have enough support that they will just let us have the club. psh. I'm so excited about this whole thing still. I mean - not only is it great leadership stuff, but it's also good "I'm making a difference in my school/community" stuff that looks good on college applications. It will be an interesting year, methinks, once this club has become airborne. That's basically all I've been up to.
Ms. Phelps made interesting "I'd like to strangle that student with piano wire" faces yesterday when, after Ro, a TA for another class, & Sara stay in our class. She was fine up until the bell when Ro stood up, yelled "SHIT!" and ran out the door. Ms. Phelps looked FURIOUS. Sadly, it was hilarious. And, since I had been planning on staying after to get help from Ms. Phelps yesterday - I didn't want to stick around long enough to be put to piano wire death for Ro's transgressions (not that it would ever really happen, I know), and thusly forgot to take Sloanie home. I felt horrible about that too. I'M REALLY SORRY SLOANIE!!!!
Psh. That really is all though. So yeah.
Posted on 10.13.2005 at 21:25
My Penmanship is: research-y
The Song Stuck in my Head is: Thanks for the Venom - MCR
Posted on 10.05.2005 at 06:47
My Penmanship is: bouncy
The Song Stuck in my Head is: Quietude bitches! Don' t you wish you had some?
So, Brandon is staying in town until Sunday. Woo-hoo. That's the day I leave to go to Vegas, too. So, you know, that's all fun stuff right thurr. He's supposed to come hang out with me today after school, because it's a half day. Woot. And I need to clean too. He came over and we talked a bit last night. Also, I stayed after and got Trig. help. Let me tell you what, I understand more than I did before! Ms. Phelps is officially my new favorite study buddy. Fo sho. Anyway I've gotta go get ready. Peace out, peeps.
Posted on 10.01.2005 at 22:45
My Penmanship is: cranky
The Song Stuck in my Head is: my drunk family
dude. we went out to dinner at this great bavarian/german restaraunt. we partied to good music & danced. my just turned 8 year old sister almost got molested. the guy who tried to do it was about a quarter second away from getting his throat slit when he got away. then i drove my drunk parents home. in las vegas. at 10 at night. without knowing the way. justfuckingwonderful. let me tell you. they were screaming. they were telling me to get off at ALL the wrong exits. so it took FOREVER to get back. then, as we're 1 minute from the house, my drunk aunt heidi calls. my mom suggests we go "rescue" her. i told her HELL NO. my aunt will find her way back. eventually. but it was all pretty fun. fer serious.